{"id":70,"date":"2008-05-25T00:01:34","date_gmt":"2008-05-25T04:01:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.spacewesterns.com\/?p=70"},"modified":"2022-12-14T13:59:39","modified_gmt":"2022-12-14T18:59:39","slug":"hanging-judge","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.spacewesterns.com\/articles\/hanging-judge\/","title":{"rendered":"Hanging Judge"},"content":{"rendered":"

R<\/strong><\/span>oy scratched his head, then turned and whispered to the black and red android clerk, \u201cWhat are these reptiles called again?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSkogorn,\u201d the clerk answered.<\/p>\n

\u201cDoes he or it have a name?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s believed to be a male. It\u2019s number two hundred.\u201d<\/p>\n

Roy leaned back in swivel chair. \u201cWhat is Skogorn 200 charged with?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTheft, your honor,\u201d Cheops answered.<\/p>\n

Roy looked at the large reptile, which reminded him of drawings he\u2019d seen of smaller dinosaurs like the hadrosaur. \u201cDoes he even understand the language?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course he understands,\u201d Cheops insisted.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat did he steal?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAn anti-gravity generator,\u201d Cheops said. \u201cThey\u2019re worth seven million drom.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat would he do with that?\u201d Roy asked.<\/p>\n

Cheops shrugged. \u201cNo idea, your honor.\u201d<\/p>\n

Roy announced, \u201cI\u2019m setting a trial date for the 200th day of the current year. Damn, I wish you people used months.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou can\u2019t set a trial. The defendant didn\u2019t ask for one,\u201d the clerk pointed out.<\/p>\n

\u201cExactly,\u201d Cheops agreed. \u201cHe\u2019s presumed guilty.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTrial is set,\u201d Roy cracked his gavel. \u201cWe are adjourned until tomorrow.\u201d He shot out of the courthouse before anyone could figure out what had just happened.<\/p>\n

He hopped on the tram and was home in minutes. The blue servant girl whose name he could never remember took his shoes. He relaxed in the big chair and she brought him his favorite jug. He pulled the cork out with his new teeth and took a swig. This was his best backyard batch yet. Whatever was cooking for supper smelled delicious, though he knew smells can be deceiving.<\/p>\n

There was a ring at the door. The blue servant girl escorted a familiar figure into the living room. Out of habit, Roy stood. He hated his guest, but old manners die hard. \u201cChief Administrator Hobbs?\u201d He gestured toward another chair, then reseated himself. He didn\u2019t offer any of the moonshine from his jug.<\/p>\n

\u201cJudge Bean,\u201d the man with green eyes and enormous ears who almost looked human said, \u201cit\u2019s bean a year since we recruited you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRecruited?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOverall, we\u2019ve been pleased with your performance,\u201d Hobbs said.<\/p>\n

Roy felt there was a \u201cbut\u201d coming.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut, lately, well our legal system prides itself on its efficiency. That\u2019s what we liked about you, our scouts rated you as the most efficient jurist on Earth. Some of your trials lasted less than five minutes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIs there a point in this? My supper is ready.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, last week, you dismissed an indictment against a known criminal. Today, you scheduled a trial against a Skogorn. A Skogorn? They don\u2019t even recognize your authority or speak the language. How are they going to have a trial? Emperor\u2019s Attorney Cheops is furious.\u201d<\/p>\n

Roy took a swig. \u201cHe doesn\u2019t have to appear before me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s not the point.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThen, he can present his evidence at trial.\u201d Roy stood. \u201cI have supper waiting.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI never asked for or wanted this job,\u201d Roy said.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019d be dead in a pine box, if not for us.\u201d<\/p>\n

Roy nodded. \u201cYep. I reckon I would.\u201d He went to the dining room, leaving his guest behind.<\/p>\n

The supper proved disappointing. There wasn\u2019t anything wrong with it, it just lacked the zing his wife made food with. The Mexicans liked spices. These blue people didn\u2019t seem to. He rubbed his neck. That was one good thing. These people had fixed his neck, which tortured him since his salad days when a lynch mob had tried to hang him. Gradually, he drifted off to sleep.<\/p>\n

The next day\u2019s docket was light. Most of the cases were petty offenses. Then, they brought in one of those red and black androids that looked like his clerk. \u201cEmpire Versus 3313,\u201d the clerk announced.<\/p>\n

Roy looked at the screen in front of him. It often took a few moments to translate into English. The audio translator was much faster. The charge was theft. He scrolled down. The item taken was an anti-gravity generator.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe have reached a plea arrangement, your honor,\u201d Cheops declared.<\/p>\n

\u201cHave you now?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe defendant will return to his home planet. He will forfeit all assets. He will accept a suspended detention sentence.\u201d<\/p>\n

Roy looked at the android\u2019s emotionless face. \u201cTell me, what did you want the generator for?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThey\u2019re worth a lot of money,\u201d the android replied.<\/p>\n

Roy leaned back in his chair. \u201cAre they now? Back in Texas, I once fined a man forty dollars. That man was dead.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYour honor?\u201d Cheops asked. \u201cWe don\u2019t understand your point?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, some people call me the hanging judge. In Texas, I was just a justice of the peace. It was Judge Parker, the federal judge, who was the hanging judge. He hung everybody. I described my court as the only law west of the Pecos.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAn enlightening tale,\u201d Cheops said.<\/p>\n

Roy\u2019s .45 caliber revolver made a loud thud when he slammed it on top the bench. \u201cI had one law book, one gun and one jug of whisky. Now, I have these computer things. I have armed bailiffs.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThey\u2019re called Centurions,\u201d Cheops pointed out.<\/p>\n

\u201cI know that,\u201d Roy snarled. He picked up his revolver. \u201cAnd I still have one gun.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYour point?\u201d Cheops asked.<\/p>\n

Roy slammed down the gun and glared at the prosecutor. \u201cIt is your honor. Court rules require you to address me as your honor.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, your honor,\u201d Cheops said.<\/p>\n

\u201cI fine you ten drom for contempt of court.\u201d He figured that was around a day\u2019s pay for a prosecutor 3. Then he looked at the android. \u201cHow do I know you won\u2019t sneak back in to this planet and steal something else.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll be registered with Customs.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut you people all look alike. You could just change your number.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s not possible,\u201d Cheops insisted.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow come.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt just isn\u2019t,\u201d Cheops insisted.<\/p>\n

\u201cWho says?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTheir embassy,\u201d Cheops insisted.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s true,\u201d the clerk, who looked just like the defendant, added.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe defendant will be held in custody until I receive a satisfactory report from Customs explaining why this individual can\u2019t sneak back in and steal something else.\u201d Roy cracked his gavel. \u201cWe are adjourned.\u201d<\/p>\n

Roy didn\u2019t like the detention area. This one was cleaner than ones he\u2019d seen in Texas, but it was still a jail. He unfolded the chair and plopped himself down a few feet away from the bars of the cell. He started drawing on the pad of paper he\u2019d brought with him.<\/p>\n

Skogorn 200 slowly sat up from the bed and stared at him. Roy simply continued to draw. Quite a long time went by.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat you draw?\u201d Skogorn 200 finally asked.<\/p>\n

Roy looked at the little button device that translated thing into and out of English for him. \u201cI was pretty sure you could understand.\u201d Roy turned the pad toward him.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat is it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s a gallows. Back in Texas we would hang criminals on these. It broke their necks, really fast,\u201d Roy explained. \u201cI\u2019m going to build one in the back of the court room.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCapital execution is forbidden,\u201d Skogorn 200 informed him.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know a lot more than you let on. I said I was going to build one, didn\u2019t say I was going to use it,\u201d Roy said. \u201cThink of it as a decoration. Something from home.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt would seem you could find a more pleasant reminder.\u201d<\/p>\n

Roy shrugged. \u201cPerhaps, but it\u2019ll have the added benefit of scaring the crap out of the defendants\u2014and maybe even those blasted lawyers.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe do not have lawyers on my world.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s a thought. Why\u2019d you steal an anti-gravity generator? You work in a mine.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI want to go home. I have no funds for the passage,\u201d he explained.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow will that get you home?\u201d Roy asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cI built a ship from surplus parts. It needs a generator.\u201d<\/p>\n

Roy folded the chair back up. \u201cYou are a resourceful fellow.\u201d<\/p>\n

The next morning, Roy was actually in court early. He had the report from Customs in front of him. The android defendant was present. Roy declared, \u201cThe plea agreement is accepted.\u201d<\/p>\n

Then, he leaned back in his swivel chair and said, \u201cBring in Skogorn 200.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s not on the docket,\u201d the clerk protested.<\/p>\n

\u201cBring in who I say to bring in.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou can\u2019t,\u201d Cheops said.<\/p>\n

Roy picked up the revolver. Most everyone was pretty much used to his waving it around. They weren\u2019t used to it going off. After the roar died down, there was total silence. He looked at Cheops, bleeding from the shoulder. \u201cIt\u2019s your honor, dang-nabbit. It\u2019s just a flesh wound.\u201d Roy wondered how he hit the shoulder. He was aiming for the leg. He was getting out of practice. \u201cNow, where\u2019s Skogorn 200?\u201d<\/p>\n

The reptile was brought in. \u201cYou get the same deal. Exile to your world. Don\u2019t come back. I order you released and give you ten days to arrange passage.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s preposterous!\u201d Cheops shouted.<\/p>\n

Roy picked up the revolver.<\/p>\n

\u201cYour honor!\u201d Cheops yelled.<\/p>\n

Roy cracked the gavel. \u201cRelease the prisoner. And our prosecutor might want to go downstairs and see the medics.\u201d<\/p>\n

I<\/strong><\/span>t was cold in the early morning. Roy tightened the cloak around him. He hated the clothes these people wore. He vowed he was going to make that blue girl make him some proper western wear. The spaceship wasn\u2019t anything fancy. Roy poked his head inside. \u201cYou stole another one, then?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d Skojorn 200 said.<\/p>\n

\u201cAre they easy to steal?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe detectives can track them down. They emit a signal. This time, I completed the ship before stealing one.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA wise move.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI will be long gone before they look for the device. I am ready to leave.\u201d<\/p>\n

Roy backed away from the ship. \u201cGood journey.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy you help me, Judge Roy Bean?\u201d the reptile asked. \u201cI am simply cheap labor for the mines.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re a long way from home, just like me,\u201d Roy said.<\/p>\n

\u201cPerhaps, someday, you will return to Planet Texas.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot likely.\u201d<\/p>\n

The strange little ship lifted off the ground, then flew off into the sky. Roy\u2019s gaze shifted from that to a little star in the sky he gazed at frequently, wondering what they were doing back on Earth and, especially, back in Texas.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Justice is a strange quality that societies seek out. It’s complicated by the fact that what may be a punishment for one individual, isn’t necessarily so for another. Civilizations go to extremes trying to find justice. Even farther to find a fair and even-handed judge. — ed, N.E. Lilly<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":500,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[3,5],"tags":[9],"media":[299],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.spacewesterns.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/70"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.spacewesterns.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.spacewesterns.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.spacewesterns.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/7"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.spacewesterns.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=70"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.spacewesterns.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/70\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1158,"href":"https:\/\/www.spacewesterns.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/70\/revisions\/1158"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.spacewesterns.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/500"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.spacewesterns.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=70"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.spacewesterns.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=70"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.spacewesterns.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=70"},{"taxonomy":"media","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.spacewesterns.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?post=70"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}