{"id":61,"date":"2008-04-27T00:00:18","date_gmt":"2008-04-27T04:00:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.spacewesterns.com\/?p=61"},"modified":"2022-12-05T19:11:26","modified_gmt":"2022-12-06T00:11:26","slug":"a-man-called-mister-brown-mr-green","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.spacewesterns.com\/articles\/a-man-called-mister-brown-mr-green\/","title":{"rendered":"A Man Called Mister Brown: Mr.&nbsp;Green"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"serial-posts-wrapper\">\n<h3 class=\"serial-posts-heading\"><span class=\"serial-post-text\">Read more from this serial.<\/span><\/h3>\n<ul class=\"serial-posts\">\n<li class=\"serial-posts-list-item\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.spacewesterns.com\/articles\/a-man-called-mister-brown\/\" title=\"A Man Called Mister Brown\">A Man Called Mister Brown<\/a><\/li>\n<li class=\"serial-posts-list-item\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.spacewesterns.com\/articles\/a-man-called-mister-brown-ms-hitt\/\" title=\"A Man Called Mister Brown: Ms. Hitt\">A Man Called Mister Brown: Ms. Hitt<\/a><\/li>\n<li class=\"serial-posts-list-item current-inactive\">A Man Called Mister Brown: Mr. Green<\/li>\n<li class=\"serial-posts-list-item\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.spacewesterns.com\/articles\/a-man-called-mister-brown-the-ishtar-death-march\/\" title=\"A Man Called Mister Brown: The Ishtar Death March\">A Man Called Mister Brown: The Ishtar Death March<\/a><\/li>\n<li class=\"serial-posts-list-item\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.spacewesterns.com\/articles\/a-man-called-mister-brown-camp-adonis\/\" title=\"A Man Called Mister Brown: Camp Adonis\">A Man Called Mister Brown: Camp Adonis<\/a><\/li>\n<li class=\"serial-posts-list-item\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.spacewesterns.com\/articles\/a-man-called-mister-brown-mars-in-winter\/\" title=\"A Man Called Mister Brown: Mars in Winter\">A Man Called Mister Brown: Mars in Winter<\/a><\/li>\n<li class=\"serial-posts-list-item\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.spacewesterns.com\/articles\/a-man-called-mister-brown-to-the-underworld\/\" title=\"A Man Called Mister Brown: To the Underworld\">A Man Called Mister Brown: To the Underworld<\/a><\/li>\n<li class=\"serial-posts-list-item\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.spacewesterns.com\/articles\/a-man-called-mister-brown-the-graves-speak\/\" title=\"A Man Called Mister Brown: The Graves Speak\">A Man Called Mister Brown: The Graves Speak<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n\n<p class=\"section\"><span class=\"dc\"><strong>T<\/strong><\/span>he suckers in the City of Pamir were all native-born, noticed Vaino \u201cGreen\u201d Fingers.<\/p>\n<p>Not a single Old Terran genotype could be seen in the crowd. The sulfur dioxide that kept leaking into the habitats had killed the last one decades ago.<\/p>\n<p>He thought the current breed looked pretty much like Old Terrans, except for the yellowish tint of their skin, teeth and eyes \u2014 and the smell. Not that they didn\u2019t bathe or change clothes; the Venusians made a neat sight in their pressed blue and green suits, their impeccably groomed haircuts and polished shoes.<\/p>\n<p>They were lined up around Green\u2019s truck and stood to attention as if he were going to take their picture.<\/p>\n<p>But by the Constant&#8230; that <em>smell<\/em>. Like old diapers.<\/p>\n<p>Green hated the smell, and the way the native kids stared and pointed and took snapshots. Hadn\u2019t they seen a live NeoMartian before?<\/p>\n<p>Without the filter membrane that covered his body, he wouldn\u2019t have lasted a day in the toxic air. Without the sunlamp in his luggage, his chloroplasts would have died from lack of sunlight. Without the hormone shots, the gravity would have been painful to his Martian knees.<\/p>\n<p>Green hated everything about Venus \u2014 except their money. The Stinkers <em>deserved<\/em> to be sold crunkball in medicine bottles, he thought. Served\u2019em right for choosing to live in caves.<\/p>\n<p>The natives would never know what \u201cGreen\u201d Fingers thought of them \u2014 mainly because of the scan-shield cap he was wearing underneath his high hat. The green hat matched his green suit, shoes and his green truck, on which was painted the logo \u201cDR. KOSMOS\u2019 MARTIAN WONDER ELIXIRS \u2014 ANCIENT REMEDIES FOR ALL PROBLEMS.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cStep right up, friends!\u201d he told the crew of a few hundred curious natives. He grinned and twinkled with his eyes, beaming like a green Santa Claus, waving his little dark bottles around. \u201cIs there a brave man or woman here who\u2019d like to try these perfectly-harmless-yet-amazingly-potent Martian elixirs? Remedies for any personal or social problem! Ah, there I see a brave man! There&#8230; I see&#8230; <em>fark<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>A somber police officer on a hover pod flew in over the crowd, accompanied by small drones that aimed their weapons at the NeoMartian.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cVaino \u2018Green\u2019 Fingers? You are under arrest. Your accomplice, Martha Kaurismaki, has testified in court that you were behind the Phobos caper.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Green grinned and chuckled in his most charming manner, bowing repeatedly as he made inviting gestures to the hovering cop. \u201cA brave man, if ever I saw one! Sir, please allow me. Test a free sample of the ancient Martian love elixir, it\u2019s on me. Guaranteed to make you irresistible to the ladies!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The cop replied: \u201cI\u2019m gay.\u201d He maneuvered his hover pod closer to the truck.<\/p>\n<p>Green quickly thrust out another bottle toward the pod. \u201cOr try this variety, for the manly male \u2014 guaranteed to make you irresistible to other men!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The cop hesitated just long enough to give Green a chance. The police-drones were old-school designs, unable to attack without a direct command from the officer.<\/p>\n<p>Green nodded vigorously to the cop, took off his top hat \u2014 and tossed it at the hover pod. The hat exploded in a puff of black ParaSmoke; Green\u2019s filter membrane protected him while the cop fainted and the crowd began to cough and choke.<\/p>\n<p>He started up his truck and drove into a tunnel, seeking the nearest airlock. Once he\u2019d get into his outdoor suit, he could reach the spot where he had hidden his spaceship. And a fine ship it was, stolen from the Terran Fleet at the Phobos Station; his greatest theft so far.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cMartha, you daughter of a potato, ratting on me,\u201d he muttered to himself. \u201cIs it because I left you on the Moon? Women! Give\u2019em a stem, they take the whole trunk. I\u2019ll get you for this!\u201d He opened a screen and searched for news on Martha\u2019s whereabouts. An image of her cropped up in the search: a snapshot taken by a passing cam-bot, several days ago. The caption read: \u201c<em>Mysterious Bounty Hunter Mr. Brown Delivers Gang Member. ATAF Promises To Arrest Ringleader, Announces Record Bounty on Vaino \u2018Green\u2019 Fingers.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Green zoomed in on the face of the man who had captured Martha: a dark-skinned Afroid Terran with a scowling expression etched into his face. The Martian\u2019s face broadened with a malicious, hateful grin.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI never forget a face, brown man. I\u2019ll get her. And <em>you<\/em>, Brownie! You son of a goat!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>In his rage, Green felt elated. Only when he hated did all his worries disappear. All he had to do was follow the hate to where it led him.<\/p>\n<p>At the end of an ascending rock tunnel, the airlock awaited.<\/p>\n<div id=\"serial-posts-wrapper\">\n<h3 class=\"serial-posts-heading\"><span class=\"serial-post-text\">Read more from this serial.<\/span><\/h3>\n<ul class=\"serial-posts\">\n<li class=\"serial-posts-list-item\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.spacewesterns.com\/articles\/a-man-called-mister-brown\/\" title=\"A Man Called Mister Brown\">A Man Called Mister Brown<\/a><\/li>\n<li class=\"serial-posts-list-item\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.spacewesterns.com\/articles\/a-man-called-mister-brown-ms-hitt\/\" title=\"A Man Called Mister Brown: Ms. Hitt\">A Man Called Mister Brown: Ms. Hitt<\/a><\/li>\n<li class=\"serial-posts-list-item current-inactive\">A Man Called Mister Brown: Mr. Green<\/li>\n<li class=\"serial-posts-list-item\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.spacewesterns.com\/articles\/a-man-called-mister-brown-the-ishtar-death-march\/\" title=\"A Man Called Mister Brown: The Ishtar Death March\">A Man Called Mister Brown: The Ishtar Death March<\/a><\/li>\n<li class=\"serial-posts-list-item\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.spacewesterns.com\/articles\/a-man-called-mister-brown-camp-adonis\/\" title=\"A Man Called Mister Brown: Camp Adonis\">A Man Called Mister Brown: Camp Adonis<\/a><\/li>\n<li class=\"serial-posts-list-item\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.spacewesterns.com\/articles\/a-man-called-mister-brown-mars-in-winter\/\" title=\"A Man Called Mister Brown: Mars in Winter\">A Man Called Mister Brown: Mars in Winter<\/a><\/li>\n<li class=\"serial-posts-list-item\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.spacewesterns.com\/articles\/a-man-called-mister-brown-to-the-underworld\/\" title=\"A Man Called Mister Brown: To the Underworld\">A Man Called Mister Brown: To the Underworld<\/a><\/li>\n<li class=\"serial-posts-list-item\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.spacewesterns.com\/articles\/a-man-called-mister-brown-the-graves-speak\/\" title=\"A Man Called Mister Brown: The Graves Speak\">A Man Called Mister Brown: The Graves Speak<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Part 3 of the 8 part <em>A Man Called Mister Brown<\/em> serial by A.R. Yngve introduces Vaino &ldquo;Green&rdquo; Fingers, a con-man, outlaw, and huckster. <em>&mdash; ed, N.E. Lilly<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":32,"featured_media":535,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[3,5],"tags":[97,98],"media":[299],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.spacewesterns.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/61"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.spacewesterns.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.spacewesterns.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.spacewesterns.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/32"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.spacewesterns.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=61"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.spacewesterns.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/61\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1167,"href":"https:\/\/www.spacewesterns.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/61\/revisions\/1167"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.spacewesterns.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/535"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.spacewesterns.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=61"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.spacewesterns.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=61"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.spacewesterns.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=61"},{"taxonomy":"media","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.spacewesterns.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?post=61"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}