{"id":35,"date":"2007-11-25T00:00:49","date_gmt":"2007-11-25T05:00:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.spacewesterns.com\/?p=35"},"modified":"2022-12-05T17:18:45","modified_gmt":"2022-12-05T22:18:45","slug":"space-western-limerick-contest-winners","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.spacewesterns.com\/articles\/space-western-limerick-contest-winners\/","title":{"rendered":"Space Western Limerick Contest Winners"},"content":{"rendered":"

First Place<\/h2>\n
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There once was a cowboy whose horse,<\/p>\n

Had the power to leap with great force,<\/p>\n

Into space she would jump,<\/p>\n

Then the cowboy would slump,<\/p>\n

As he died in the vacuum, of course.
\n \u2014 Larry Hodges<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

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\u2020  Keith\u2019s Pick:<\/strong> This one made me snarf my iced tea. Perfect meter, good punchline, fit the theme beautifully. Nicely done!<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

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Jane Espenson:<\/strong> I love the idea of taking fanciful notions and applying real-world consequences to them. Funny!<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

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Gary Trainer:<\/strong> This limerick is a dark, humorous space western tale. A parable of a man\u2019s horse that can leap with such great force that \u201cshe\u201d leaps into space. But, this action by his horse causes \u201chim\u201d to die in the vacuum of space. Like a space western Greek fable, I can imagine our space cowboy doomed to experience this fate over and over.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/div>\n

Second Place<\/h2>\n
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A lunar inn called Three Tartan Stars,<\/p>\n

Had the best range of booze near or far.<\/p>\n

In senseless depravity,<\/p>\n

and rather low gravity,<\/p>\n

We would slurp down green whiskey from Mars.
\n \u2014 PS Cottier<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

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Gary Trainer:<\/strong> This limerick deserves points for \u201cWe would slurp down green whisky from Mars\u201d, alone. The image here is an example of the need for a good place for senseless depraved behavior, after those lonely light years out on the Milky Way trail.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/div>\n

Honorable Mentions<\/h2>\n
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Get a stiff drink at the Space Bar None,<\/p>\n

And carry a six-shot laser gun.<\/p>\n

Riding our rockets far<\/p>\n

Into a setting star.<\/p>\n

Who knew planet wranglin\u2019 was such fun?
\n \u2014 Jacob P. Silvia<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

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\u2020  Gary\u2019s Pick:<\/strong> This limerick succeeds in evoking the atmosphere of both genres. Space saloons, six gun lasers, and planet wrangling. Who knew judging this contest would be \u201cSuch Fun\u201d!!<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/div>\n

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Dear Wash, can you keep me from anger?<\/p>\n

I beg you, do not bump or bang her<\/p>\n

Just soar like a leaf<\/p>\n

Or you\u2019ll have ground beef<\/p>\n

I\u2019m a cow in Serenity\u2019s hanger!<\/p>\n

\u2014 Succatash<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

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\u2020  Jane\u2019s Pick:<\/strong> This is my \u201cJudge\u2019s Pick\u201d because I simply can\u2019t resist the point of view. So funny!<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/div>\n

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Black Bart was a man never sorry<\/p>\n

For what he\u2019d done back on Beta Centauri<\/p>\n

Shot a man \u2019tween the eyes<\/p>\n

then cast off for the skies<\/p>\n

To a wormhole–through a dark neutron star, he.
\n \u2014 Alex Jay Berman<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

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Gary Trainer:<\/strong> This limerick conveys so much in 5 lines. It succeeds in evoking the atmosphere of both the \u201cWestern\u201d and the \u201cSpace\u201d genre.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/div>\n

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I\u2019ve been to the most distant of stars<\/p>\n

And had drinks with locals in bars<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve met interesting creatures<\/p>\n

With unusual features<\/p>\n

That I removed and collected in jars
\n \u2014 Sean Logan<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

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Jane Espenson:<\/strong> This made me smile.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/div>\n

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As Simon glanced up at the sky,<\/p>\n

He looked to his sis with a sigh:<\/p>\n

\u201cThey\u2019ve taken our land,<\/p>\n

And we cannot stand.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut brother,\u201d she said, \u201cwe can fly.\u201d
\n \u2014 Jacqueline Cabrera<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

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Jane Espenson:<\/strong> Limericks don\u2019t usually provoke emotion, but this one does. Absolutely gorgeous. Perfect.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/div>\n

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A young Captain John Carter on Mars<\/p>\n

Kept the peace on his beat \u2019mongst the stars<\/p>\n

Said to Dejah, his bride<\/p>\n

Would you care for a ride<\/p>\n

In a suped up old extra from Cars?
\n \u2014 Ronald Campbell<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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There are people I\u2019m longing to meet<\/p>\n

Not at work, on the train or the street<\/p>\n

But out in the black<\/p>\n

On the screen in my flat<\/p>\n

With Serenity under their feet
\n \u2014 purplehazel<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

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Jane Espenson:<\/strong> This one really captures the best sense of being a fan, and it flows beautifully. You didn\u2019t have to twist the syntax to reach your rhymes.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/div>\n

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The glare of our suns on the dunes<\/p>\n

Is intense, and our passion balloons<\/p>\n

Till we\u2019re rampant with hate<\/p>\n

(Seven times normal rate)<\/p>\n

And each day we have seven high noons.
\n \u2014 David Franks<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

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Jane Espenson:<\/strong> Great sci-fi concept and humor. A number of entries played with the \u201chigh noon\u201d idea and this one did it the best.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/div>\n

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Ride \u2019em cowboy, ride the space tether<\/p>\n

Through ion storms and other space weather<\/p>\n

I program my droids<\/p>\n

And gather up roids<\/p>\n

Aint no job I\u2019d like to have better<\/p>\n

\u2014 Grant Delph<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

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Gary Trainer:<\/strong> This limerick gives me the feeling of being a lone space cowboy, out on the space planet range, programming my \u201ddroids\u201d to round up my \u201criods\u201d. This is the essential cowboy archetype transported into space.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/div>\n

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Two cowboys are stood on the moon<\/p>\n

Trigger fingers awaiting high noon<\/p>\n

The sun inches higher<\/p>\n

Draw weapons and fire<\/p>\n

And blasted themselves to Neptune
\n \u2014 Ross O\u2019Brien<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

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Gary Trainer:<\/strong> Another entry that takes a \u201cZane Gray\u201d and Louis L\u2019Amour\u201d like tale, and tells it by an intergalactic space campfire.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/div>\n

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When cows graze on Olympus Mons,<\/p>\n

Their cowbells give very faint bongs.<\/p>\n

But the rustlers must stay<\/p>\n

A long way away<\/p>\n

From the methane-rich low-pressure pongs!
\n \u2014 David L Clements<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Lament of the Alien Dance Hall Girl<\/p>\n

A barmaid from Nerus Omega<\/p>\n

once mourned in her sea-swamped bodega,<\/p>\n

\u201cIf we fishfolk had feet<\/p>\n

my life might be complete \u2014<\/p>\n

I\u2019d cancan from Rigel to Vega\u201d<\/p>\n

\u2014 Marcie Lynn Tentchoff<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

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Jane Espenson:<\/strong> Can\u2019t resist the rhymes, and the idea is very funny.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/div>\n

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My horse just ran out of rocket fuel<\/p>\n

I checked my spacesuit and left that mule<\/p>\n

Sucked on my tube of gin<\/p>\n

Feeling everything spin<\/p>\n

I cursed the stars for being so cruel
\n \u2014 David Clarke<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

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Gary Trainer:<\/strong> What would a \u201cspace western\u201d be, without the image of a down on his luck space cowboy?<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/div>\n

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There once were some heroes in space<\/p>\n

Whose exploits did make your heart race<\/p>\n

a Shepherd sans flock<\/p>\n

a River that rocked<\/p>\n

But the tush on that Captain was ace!
\n \u2014 Devon Luers<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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This Space Western tale, I should mention<\/p>\n

Takes place in another dimension.<\/p>\n

Besides Space and Time<\/p>\n

The other is Rhyme.<\/p>\n

It just needs a saloon and some tension.
\n \u2014 Edmund Conti<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

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Jane Espenson:<\/strong> Very Twilight Zone.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/div>\n

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It was noon at the OK Corral<\/p>\n

At the far-away planet called Qwal.<\/p>\n

I rode in of course<\/p>\n

On my six-legged horse<\/p>\n

As the moons rose on this pastorale.
\n \u2014 Edmund Conti<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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A Colt 45 in his pocket,<\/p>\n

The cowboy could fly on his rocket,<\/p>\n

Till the unhappy day,<\/p>\n

It was stolen away,<\/p>\n

Because he\u2019d forgotten to lock it.
\n \u2014 Larry Hodges<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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What brings ungrammatical planet<\/p>\n

To us landing this, dear my Janet?<\/p>\n

Tractor beam us got, Brad,<\/p>\n

But it be can so bad?<\/p>\n

Escaped least us at castle, Dammit!
\n \u2014 Julia Rios<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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The Importance of Tradition<\/p>\n

The lone marshal of Zinnemann\u2019s Moon,<\/p>\n

when forewarned of a vengeance-mad goon,<\/p>\n

showed no trepidation\u2014<\/p>\n

his world\u2019s slow rotation<\/p>\n

meant that he\u2019d be long dead by High Noon.<\/p>\n

\u2014 Marcie Lynn Tentchoff<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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The eyestalk poked out of the Nexus,<\/p>\n

Observing a back road of Texas,<\/p>\n

Then a cowboy rode by,<\/p>\n

Saw the alien eye,<\/p>\n

Until it was squooshed by a Lexus.
\n \u2014 Larry Hodges<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Lunar farming takes real gumption<\/p>\n

When colonists die of consumption.<\/p>\n

When soil\u2019s not arable,<\/p>\n

Shove your damn parables<\/p>\n

Unless psalms help moon tractors function.<\/p>\n

\u2014 Camille Alexa<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

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Jane Espenson:<\/strong> The rhymes! Love the rhymes!<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/div>\n

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